Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
