I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
