check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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