Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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