this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
