i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
