roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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