all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
