can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
