Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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