so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
