the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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