I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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