I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
