You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
