I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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