Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
