We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
