i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
