How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
