um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
