I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
All I want is dick and wine.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
