Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
