Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
