pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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