so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
