They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
