his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
