Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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