I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
did i walk over a car last night?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
