Moan for me like Helen Keller
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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