I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
wanna go halves on a baby?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
