i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
