maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
