Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dick very happy bro
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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