Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
