my mouth tastes like poor choices
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
