hell yes lets make some ravioli
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
