**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize