You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I will pee on everything he values.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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