Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
birth control should be required to get into college
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
