no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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