And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
