coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
