bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize