Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she told me i tasted like america
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
