Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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