Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
