I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
