if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
