i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
