Need sex. Gaining weight.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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