Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
