heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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