The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
