I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
