I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
