just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize