do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
