Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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