Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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