we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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